Shame. And Astro Boy.

I knew this day would come. The day when I shake off the shame of not blogging since Christmas. This blog is dusty, and I can really only blame myself. I got lazy. I got apathetic. I really lost the whole reason for blogging. I got a few hits, specifically the Pudding Pops article, which still remains my most read. I felt the need to write about things that would get me hits, rather than things that would make me happy. So I did, and that didn't happen, so I got tired of all of it.

But I've got the bite again. The drive to blog, to write about stupid shit that makes me happy. If it gets hits, cool, whatever. If it doesn't, at least I will have written about something I truly love, or at least like a little bit. The point is to keep writing, to keep doing what I love, what drives me. Either I do that, or my life has little purpose and I sit around watching Law & Order re-runs and eating hot Cheetos. I don't want that to be my life.

So, to make a long cliche short, I'm back. Hopefully blogging at least once a week, as much as three times a week. It's a goal. I even bought a white board to write it on and everything.

I feel like I should write about something to make this more of an article, so I'm gonna say a couple words on these Astro Boy movie toys.

X-mas Xtravaganza #3 - Christmas Crafts!

Around the Christmas season, the dollar bins at Target are a godsend. Usually packed with fun-but-useless things throughout the year, the holidays are when they really shine. Filled with everything from shitty stocking stuffer toys to Christmas candy to decorations. Hell, last year, I bought my tiny desktop tree from there. I'd wager I spend a good fifteen percent of my holiday shopping budget on dumb crap from these bins. Which leads me to my newest subject.

I really couldn't pass up this collection of Christmas-themed crafts once I saw them looking so lonely in the dollar bin. They needed a good home. One that I could provide, I figured. Plus, at a dollar a piece, they were a steal! I've dealt with crafts before on this site, I figured this article would be a snap. How wrong I was.

X-mas Xtravaganza #2 - Air Heads Holiday Sticker Fun!

Air Heads are kind of a classic stocking stuffer. Easy to find, tasty and cheap, you can buy packs of like 50 for a nickel. Maybe not that extreme, but they work. However, they've never really had a place in the whole holiday-themed world. You could buy regular Air Heads, sure, but why do that if they aren't covered in reindeer? Enter the Holiday Sticker Fun pack.

This appeals to me in so many ways. I like the holidays, stickers, AND fun. It's so perfect that the actual Air Heads seem like an afterthought. This is reinforced by the fact that the package only comes with 12 mini bars. This grand trespass would be unacceptable if not for the promise of stickers and fun.

X-mas Xtravaganza #1 - Holiday Clif Bars!

So, I figured I'd kick this season off right with a good old holiday tradition. When I couldn't find that, I went with these gigantic cookie bars.

Clif Bars have been pretty ubiquitous in the heath food aisle for a few years now. With a good portion of your daily nutrients, not to mention enough calories to kill a yak, they're a good meal alternative, probably. I can't really wrap my head around it. They're just big cookies, not that that's a bad thing. They're also the bane of any spelling enthusiast. I keep wanting to type "Cliff". Spellcheck will hate this article.

So this year, they decided to come out with these winter versions of their popular bars. I don't really know why, as nothing about Clif Bars screams "CHRISTMAS" at me. Still, they're here, and I have a very specific disorder that makes me buy and eat anything yuletide-themed. Will I like them? Probably not, but let's find out together, shall we?

Sentient Vending Machine's X-mas Xtravaganza!

 Oh blog. How I've missed you. I promised a week break and it's been 237819721 weeks or something. Forgive me?

Because it's time for

SENTIENT VENDING MACHINE'S X-MAS X-TRAVAGANZA!!

Yes! The series of blog posts that deserved bold, underlined, AND italicized letters in alternating colors! It took forever! I won't do it again! EVER.

So, I've got a ton of great posts lined up for you guys. Christmas specials, food, decorations, and all the love you've come to expect from Sentient Vending Machine. I won't get into detail yet (better to save that for when I actually talk about stuff), but it's gonna be great. All deserving of my favorite holiday season.

For now, though, I've gone ahead and made a special Christmas playlist. I used Spotify for this, because the YouTube one I put together for Halloween didn't really pan out right. Namely, you couldn't watch most of the videos inside the playlist, which made it a little difficult. With Spotify, you'll just have to make an account and download the player. I realize this is a little cumbersome, but it's well worth it. I'm nothing if not  inconvenient.

So, here's the link to the open playlist. Hopefully it'll work for you, otherwise, this has all been for nothing. Please work. PLEASE WORK.

I'll be back in a few days (really!) with my first REAL Christmas post!

IT'S COMING

Halloweener #11 - It's Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everybody. Even though I'm posting this at like two in the morning my time. It's still Halloween in some parts of the country. Just roll with it.

I genuinely hope your holiday was filled with mirth and candy and spooky stories and all the things that make Halloween magical. Posting these little articles certainly helped my season along, and if it did anything to help your Halloween enjoyment, I'm glad. As an adult, I'm not really privy to the usual traditions of this holiday, so doing these blog posts help keep me young in a way. I guess. I'm not that old. Gah.

Anyway, in lieu of  doing an actual blog post with all the writing and whatnot, I'm gonna put up a bunch of pictures that I forgot about of articles I didn't get around to writing this season. There's always next year, and I know I'll make Halloweener a yearly tradition. Now if you'll excuse me, the Garfield Halloween special isn't gonna watch itself.

Don't worry much about me. In about a week, I'll be back to start the X-mas Xtravaganza. Just hold tight till then, okay? Don't give up on us, baby.

Click the photos to enlarge. Or don't. You'll only miss out, though.

One more photo. My desk has slowly become a Halloween paradise, as everything I've collected to potentially write about has been displayed there. Here's a pic. You can see some of the stuff I didn't get around to writing about, but there's always next year. Really regret not doing that 3D Foam Graveyard set.

 

To end this Halloween season, a horrible poem.

Thanks for reading, everyone! See you in about a week!