Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Thoughts on the Wii U


With E3 dwindling down, a lot of attention will be focused on Nintendo's new console entry, the Wii U. Codenamed Project Café, the system has been in development for a little more than two years. With no major announcement from either Sony or Microsoft, it's no great stretch to say Nintendo stole the show. But, gamers being gamers, this has been met with no shortage of criticism.

The main target of this censure is the controller. With it's large, 6.2 inch touch screen, it's like no other controller we've used, at least on a home console. Naturally, this has drawn a lot of comments that it's an "iPad with buttons". Honestly, I trust Nintendo with this thing. When the Wii was announced, it's motion controller drew a lot of the same criticism. six years later, the relatively simple step forward has revolutionized the industry. Sony and Microsoft have thrown their support behind motion control with their Move and Kinect controllers, and there are numerous cheap systems lining drug store shelves that use the same type of controller. Nintendo has been making money hand over fist. Needless to say, they know what they're doing.

Other features of the system are what we've been clamoring for ever since the Wii's release. HD output up to 1080p, high-density discs for bigger games, HDMI output, and more processing power for graphically-intensive games. It seems the main problem gamers are focusing on is the controller, to which I say, you haven't played it yet. Give it time. Try it out first. I completely understand being critical of it, but not to the point where you outright say it's bad.



I trust Nintendo. They're completely aware of what they do, and they aren't going to put out a product that isn't good. After the gaming revolution that was the Wii, I'm sure they had trouble coming up with the next big thing, but I think they hit the nail on the head. The new controller offers an exciting new direction in how we control our games, from something as simple as a personal menu in your hand, to a secret screen where you can plot your attacks hidden from the view of your friends. Depending on the price, I'll likely be lining up, day one, to get this new system. Hopefully, gamers can put prejudices aside and see this system for what it really is; a game-changer.

7up Retro review




There has been a recent resurgence in "retro" sodas. That is to say, sodas that are made with real sugar, rather than high-fructose corn syrup. Starting with Pepsi and Mountain Dew, the movement has found it's way into Dr Pepper, among others. Even Coke threw their hat into the ring, albeit with the imported Mexican Coke (ooh, imported!).

Now, 7up is getting into the game with 7up Retro. I, being the consummate consumer, had to try it. Seeing it on the store shelves, it was calling to me. "Drop five bucks on me" it said, knowing full well that I would. I grabbed my bounty and made a beeline to the checkouts. Fuck monetary responsibilities, I had tasty sugar water to buy.



As you can see, I had to buy a regular 7up to compare it to. As a side note, have you seen the new bottle design for 7up? It's very curvy, almost feminine. I like it. It's different, and not something we usually see in the pop aisle. hopefully it'll stick around.

Hopefully, you'll also notice that 7up Retro's packaging is decidedly un-retro. Seeing Pepsi's strong vintage look with their real sugar sodas, you'd think 7up would kinda go with the flow. I'm positive 7up has never had tiger stripes on its can. Or Donald Trump.



So we're ready for the taste-off. 7up Retro on the left, represented by Gumby. 7up Current on the right, represented by the Evangelion. Lets see what our boys have to offer.



First up is the Retro variety. It's a very transparent flavor, recalling more limes than lemons, and more sugar than either. The sweet taste is definitely at the forefront of this drink. Still, it's good, if overly sweet.



The contemporary 7up has a thicker feel to it, almost syrupy. The emphasis seems to be on lemons, though I don't know if this is intentional, or just because I drank it after the Retro version. There's a pronounced chemical aftertaste that doesn't sit well with me.

After weighing the two formulas, I have to call 7up Retro as the winner!



7up Retro seems destined to be a limited edition. A week after I bought my first case, it seems increasingly hard to find another. Maybe that's for the best with these kind of sodas. When a food is taken away from us, we seem to lust after it more. Grab a case of these for yourself before they're gone!

Friday, June 3, 2011

I miss Jell-o Pudding Pops


If there was one edible signifier of the joy of my youth, it would be the Jell-o Pudding Pop. Essentially just frozen pudding, there was a magical quality to their shake and shimmy. If you had a Jell-o Pudding Pop at your disposal, you were the king. Your peers trembled, in awe of your royal scepter of chocolaty delight. In the lunchroom, a Pudding Pop was worth at least three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. On the playground, it was an instant ticket out of being "it" in games of tag.

My obsession borders on insanity.

All this, and they were delicious, too. Though long discontinued by the Jell-o brand, they were briefly brought back in 2004 under the Popsicle name. This re-brand, however, was short lived, and nowadays, the frozen treat is relegated to memories of long childhood summers. I couldn't even find an off-brand version. This is all kinds of wrong. Where are children going to get their chocolaty frozen pop fix anymore? How are they gonna know who Bill Cosby is? Do you expect them to eat fudge pops? A POOR IMITATION, AND I WILL SMACK YOU IF YOU MENTION THEM AGAIN.

Poor, sweet Billy. So forgotten.

These questions, as well as a somewhat misguided need to re-examine my own childhood, brought me to the most logical conclusion. Namely, hey, pudding pops can't be that hard to make. So, to the internet I went, in search of a recipe that would unlock my childhood, something that would let me re-experience a sliver of that time. Surprisingly, it's god damn simple.





With that knowledge, and all the ingredients, I was off to work.



Powdered pudding mix looks like cocaine and burnt cocaine.



Just make the pudding according to the box. Two cups of cold milk to the pudding powder, yadda yadda. The instructions stress COLD MILK. I'm assuming that because...have you ever drank warm milk? Shit's gross, son.



Barring any major screw ups, your final product should look like this. The chocolate is a little chunky in this one, because I'm severely incapable of doing the simplest tasks.



Once you're done with that, dole out even amounts into the paper cups. The six on the left are all vanilla, the six on the right are all chocolate, and the three in the middle are half and half, chocolate on top of vanilla. I know real dual flavor pudding pops are swirled and not stacked, but give me a break. I made these at like one in the morning.

After that, just freeze for forever and enjoy!



Just as I remember them. The shape may be off, but the experience is all there, baby. I've read a few recipes that call for Cool Whip mixed in with the pudding, but I can't see what that would be used for. Probably just a cutting agent to stretch the pudding mixture. I can't see any other reason for it; these are the real deal, and I can guarantee this wont be the last time I enjoy this tasty summer snack.

Sadly, there seems to be no foreseeable return of the original Jell-o Pudding Pop. Possibly emailing Popsicle will help. If they see enough of us want our tasty frozen chocolate sludge, they may just oblige. Hell, it's worked with Pepsi, which may possibly be part of my next food review...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out of Their Shells Tour

By 1990, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were the biggest children's property around. From their humble beginnings as a limited run independent comic, they had moved effortlessly into the realms of cartoons, action figures, and their own live-action movie. From the perspective of one who was there for it all, it was an exciting time. For the people in charge of licensing the creation, it seemed like a money train that was moving in all directions. But now that they had ventured successfully into these different areas, where was there to go?

Enter the Coming out of Their Shells tour. Conceived in 1990, this is the nadir of the TMNT phenomena. The concept for the show was simple; the Turtles laid down their weapons and picked up instruments, hoping to conquer the music world and spread their message of peace and non-violence. Of course, traditional Turtle villain The Shredder comes to wreak havoc on the Turtle's efforts, but in the end, the TMNT win the fight, big closing number, curtains, the end. The show was highly successful, and made some people a lot of money, but it was also the first sign of the death of the TMNT.



As an adult, it would be very easy to be overly critical of this show. It was a blatantly crass commercial move, done solely for the money. The costumes were cheap, the acting bargain-basement. The story was cookie cutter, involving The Shredder using a device to destroy all the world's music, thereby destroying all the joy that kids got from New Kids on the Block. It was an ugly thing, contrary to everything the original TMNT was. The only thing I can really say was passably good from an adult standpoint is the music. Falling somewhere in between power pop and hair metal, the soundtrack had some catchy numbers, despite it's heavy reliance on already outdated 80's production techniques. I may yet review the album proper on my other blog.



As a kid, though, I was enraptured. Seeing the REAL TURTLES, LIVE ON STAGE was an amazing concept. I loved the music they played, so much so that the tracks were frequently on my shower-singing playlist. I had my mom make tiny denim jackets, similar to what they wore on stage, for my Ninja Turtle toys. I had everything related to this show I could get my hands on, which wasn't that much. Since the tour was sponsored by Pizza Hut, the pizza chain offered cassettes of the music and special 'tour books' that contained illustrations and information about the show. And when the time came for the Turtles to take the stage at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, we had the live pay-per-view stream beamed directly into our house (I still have it around here somewhere, recorded to an old VHS tape. I watched it constantly).

And that's the view I take on it nowadays. The view of a child, because that's who it was made for. The perspective of a jaded adult internet-dweller just makes for another ruined childhood memory. Through a child's eyes, it's still magic. The Turtles are really up there, singing and dancing and awkwardly playing their instruments sometimes. It just need's a kid's sense of wonder (and suspension of disbelief) to make it work.